The state of it all

I live among all these things, among all these people.
And everything is alive, living, going forward.
Why don't I?
I feel like I'm stuck.
I keep making plans, trying to follow everyone.
I try to be better, to feel better.
But there are times I just don't wanna feel better.
There are times when Hope is gone.
I've lost myself a while ago,
so I don't know who is supposed to guide me now.
Everything keeps evolving, changing.
I feel in the edge of everything.
Left behind by myself.
By everything.
I guess that's how I see the state of it all,
far away.
I would like to stop chasing reality.