Fine

I'm fine.

That's a lot actually. I'm not used to feeling this calm. Everything is messy and out of control and I still feel pressured and all. But right now, at this moment, I'm okay.

Maybe 'cause it's late and there's music in my ears and I'm here. Maybe 'cause I've been getting more sleep these days and I'm more rested and I'm having fun most of the time. Maybe 'cause life doesn't feel too real these days.

But I'm fine. I'll worry tomorrow. I'll go back to normal tomorrow. I'm gonna enjoy this feeling for now.

Dark nights

I would really like to talk to someone about this without them freaking out or getting all sad and worried. I've tried, but I feel my physiologists don't really listen to me, how fucked up is that? I had to vent out. I'm really sorry. 

Burn The House Down

I'm not ready, that's not me. I don't know what to do. I don't wanna be me. I'm hoping to be someone else tonight, I don't care if it's a dream or a hallucination, whatever it takes to set me free.

Maybe I'm just mad, it could be true, my head is messy and foggy most of the time. Some times I'm not even in my own head, I become a body with autopilot and I see myself from above, confused, powerless. I'm always powerless. Maybe that's why I like having control.

Is this normal? Do people feel like this too? What is wrong with me? I've been trying to get the correct answers for years but I feel stupid and crazy and helpless. Why won't they help me? Am I asking too much?

I'm sorry.

I'm just having another one of my moments.

Atlas

Does everyone feel like this? It's too much weight. I just want to let go.

I just wanna go to sleep. For years.