23/04/2019

I'm sorry.
I was busy crying, or being sad.
Sometimes I do both at once.
I'm like an expert already.
So when the party it's over that's what I do,
I come back to my pity self.
It has become easy to rest in the pain I've always known.
The fear that has always been with me
(well, not always, just since I was conscious).
When the party it's over, when I don't have distractions,
when I'm alone with myself, with my undiagnosed mess
it always sunk me down.
I have to be just, sometimes it's kind of peaceful,
like being asleep under water, you can't breathe,
but you don't even realise it.
A friendly fear, a friendly pain.
The ones that I can always count on,
the ones that keep me company when the party is over.