empty

It's here again. It never really went away. It's like having a hole in the middle of my chest and never being able to fill it up. And you try and sometimes it looks like it's okay and you feel whole and normal but it's only temporary. The emptiness always comes back and eats you from the inside out and it hurts like hell.

Somethings are meant to be. 

I know it's gonna be like this forever. I just have to live with it and keep myself distracted from it. I just have to turn off and feel less and be less. Sometimes it's easier to just let the blood do its work. To let pain take control and shut down. Nothing makes sense, it never did. I'm just waiting to be gone, like the coward I am. 

So yeah. Sorry for bothering you. It was never my intention.