peace

I wanna sit in the edge of the world and just stay there for a bunch of songs, watching as the world goes on without me. 

the view from up here

I can see her.

How she's growing. 

I'm proud of her,

of all that she's achieved. 

I can hear her sing,

just like she always did, 

in small places, 

with all her heart. 

I can smell her perfume. 

She smells like flowers, 

like fresh fruit in the morning. 

It's the smell of joy. 

I can almost taste it, 

the tea she drinks all nights,

when she's tired but not sleepy. 

Apples and cinnamon. 

But I can't feel her warmth.

I can't feel her touch, or hugs. 

I can't put her hair behind her ears. 

I can't kiss her. 

All I can do is watch her. 

Waiting. 

But she's the best view I ever had. 

So if you ask me, yes. 

I love the view from up here. 

Earthly pleasures

Tomar el sol en el tejado,
leer el mismo libro por sexta vez,
comer chocolate de madrugada,
quedarme en la cama por la mañana,
rodeada de almohadas.
Ver a la gente a mi alrededor feliz,
caminar de noche con el frío de otoño,
escuchar música con la mente en blanco.
Sentarme en el suelo,
hablando durante horas,
de cualquier cosa, de todo.
Mirar como arde la leña,
sentir el calor de la estufa.

Is anyone listening?

I just want to know.
Did you ever care?
Did you ever listen?
My heart was crying
and I felt lonely being with you.
You said you cared about me,
you said I was important.
So why did you treat me like that?
Why does everyone do that?
I'm here, I'm a person too.
I want you to stop seeing me as a weak animal,
or a funny toy,
or a tears tissue,
or a crying baby.
I might be those things.
But there's more to me.
Stop taking advantage of my fears,
it's scary.
I felt so powerless.
I still do most of the time.

Growth/Decay

A veces me siento como una planta en constante movimiento.

Justo cuando parece que he echado raíces,
cuando he encontrado un lugar donde me da el sol,
con la tierra fértil y el agua suficiente,
cuando puedo empezar a crecer,

me arrancan.

Y me marchito.

No del todo, pero sí lo suficiente como para perder el ánimo.

Y pierdo el contacto con el mundo, y la tierra, y el sol y el agua.

Hasta que aparece otra maceta.

Un lugar nuevo donde tratar de echar raíces,

volver a intentarlo.

Y el ciclo vuelve a empezar

01/04

I'm sorry. I forgot.
I never see the dawn anymore.
I go to sleep just before the sun raises
and I sleep till midday.

It feels like the world is on hold,
but I'm frozen. I can't keep going.
I'm just waiting for life to continue,
hoping the world won't end with this.

Hoping to see another dawn.

Fine

I'm fine.

That's a lot actually. I'm not used to feeling this calm. Everything is messy and out of control and I still feel pressured and all. But right now, at this moment, I'm okay.

Maybe 'cause it's late and there's music in my ears and I'm here. Maybe 'cause I've been getting more sleep these days and I'm more rested and I'm having fun most of the time. Maybe 'cause life doesn't feel too real these days.

But I'm fine. I'll worry tomorrow. I'll go back to normal tomorrow. I'm gonna enjoy this feeling for now.